Getting what I deserve.

“Never settle for anything less than you deserve.” - Mrs. Hughes

I met up with my friend, Alexis, for a catch up dinner and I can proudly say that it was one of the best conversations I’ve had.

At this point in my life, all I want is people to be REAL with me. I’m done with people who couldn’t give one ounce of a fuck about me or just pretends they do but their actions speak otherwise. Absolutely done.
Knowing Alexis, she tells it like it is and I expected her to be no different with me. And she was and I was grateful. I was not in a position to get butthurt whatsoever from what she had to say because I needed her advice.

In terms of everything, I’ve become SO comfortable. I preach that I’m so DGAF and bold (and I am) but it’s only my mouth talking. I don’t really act; which makes me somewhat predictable. I’m so comfortable with what I have at the moment. As a Taurus, I don’t like “change” unless it’s intentional and wanted. But I really need to start adjusting and taking advantage of what LIFE has to offer.
The fact I’m so hung up on things, some I’ve realized are actually really stupid, is holding me back from exploring and living life to the fullest. It’s quite sad actually; pathetic even. And all the things I’ve been so hung about ended with a simple statement I’ve always NEEDED to hear from the start but no one has ever told me: “Ezra, YOU DESERVE BETTER.”
And you know what? I do! It took me until 2012 to be fully aware of my strengths, weaknesses, capabilities and potential as an individual. I do deserve better. Actually, not to sound über blunt, but I know what I fucking deserve. And it’s sure as hell not any of the bullshit I’ve been so hung up about. I know I deserve at least better if not the best.
I have to realize that unhappiness and even depression eventually subsides and happiness will come all by the grace of God.

And if anything, I realized I’m tired. Tired of everything INCLUDING myself. It’s time for me not to be so predictable. It’s time for me to realize who is really there for me and who’s not. Finally I need to realize who does care and does listen. And I mean actually takes what I say into consideration like it actually means a damn. It’s time to cut off loose ends that have slowly crept up and invaded my mind. I deserve to treat myself so much better and present myself as the strong person I’ve always been. I’m just tired of being tired over stupid shit.

Even though I may seem repetitive in my posts, I can proudly state that never in my life have I been this confident to say that I know what I deserve and I will stop at nothing to get it.
2012 will give birth to a DGAF, bolder, fearless Ezra, who knows what he wants and most importantly knows what he deserves.

I’m not expecting anyone to actually read this but if you actually did -
Thank you. I truly do appreciate you.
Let’s celebrate life and seek what we deserve - only the best for ourselves.