Priorities.

I have no idea why but I’ve been blessed with great conversations with so many awesome people over break. I guess this is God’s way of telling me that I’m not done growing as an individual and I still have SO much to learn. 

I haven’t seen nor talked to @regardsabby since our roadtrip to LA/Irvine. Frankly, I’ve missed her. She’s like the little big sister I never had; even though our birthdays are only a week apart.

My talk with her tonight was eye-opening once again.

Out of all my conversations I’ve had this break, I was most definitely more honest, raw and candid without imposing any type of obligation. What I mean is that I didn’t deliver what I said in a way that would force her to pity/feel for me whatsoever. I was just honest.

I was planning on writing a post entitled, Parents Just Don’t Understand. I just wanted to vent out my frustrations about my Mom and her overbearing overprotectiveness over me. It’s not fun being the one to ruin all the fun. If anything, I’m embarassed because all of my friends are able to stay out late and be fine with their parents yet I always say how my Mom scolds me all the time and that I need to be home. It’s so frustating to say the least. I swear I am one of the cleanest teenagers. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, I don’t party and have sex. All I do is have fun with friends just laughing and enjoying each others’ company. Is that too hard to ask for?

But I had to see from her point of view. 

I realized that in some ways, I really need a reality check regarding my priorities. I need to prioritize what’s important and needs attention more than anything else. 

Personally during Summer ‘11 and first semester, all I wanted was to be with my friends as much as possible. Why? Because that was the only time that I genuinely felt happy. Being an only child isn’t that easy. It has its perks, but it’s not easy. 

Now, I’ve pulled back on it and came to an important epiphany.

As much as I love my friends to death, I realized that it is possible to take time away from them and focus on myself. It’s not like they are going to crucify me because I’ve haven’t hung out with them as much. 

I know that my friends are always going to be there and that suffices for me. Knowing that even my SDSU friends are going to be busy as am I, I came to the conclusion that it’s okay if I don’t see them all the time. At least when we are free, we can live it up and make it memorable. 

I had such high expectations for Winter Break. It had its low moments but there were so many unforgettable ones that highlight what it means to be young and free. It didn’t top Summer ‘11 but now I’m going to live life with no expectations whatsoever.

I had NO idea that this break would be my “growing pains” stage for myself. I actually feel like I’m completing adolescene.

I’m not rushing to grow up because finally I feel the evolution of my character taking place. I always felt the need to have this, to have that, when clearly I actually don’t. I just have to let life take place and let things just go with the flow.

Whether I like it or not, I’m an adult now. I have priorities and responsibilities that I need to care of. 

So this is what it’s like…